Life goes on

Yes, it does. Life just keeps going on and I suppose that's a good thing. No, I know that it is a good thing. I would not want the world to end.
Grief is difficult to explain and hard to experience.
I had to go to Hobby Lobby tonight to get some googly eyes for the spiders we are making with the kids tomorrow. Everything I saw reminded me of Susie. Everything. Never mind that Sue was not a crafty sort of girl and we never ever set foot in a Hobby Lobby together. I miss her and so wherever I go, there she is.
Sue's death has hit both me and Jenny hard. A friend asked me why this death has seemingly been harder than some of the others I have experienced.
Hmmmm. Really?? Well, for starters, Sue was my sister. Of my family of origin, there are only 2 of us left. Two. Me and Jen. And we were a family of 7, though my sister Marcia died before I was born. Makes you consider your own mortality. Like, a LOT. And Sue was only 6 years older than I am.
And my sister was a big part of my life and who I am. Big time.
The last six weeks of her life were a game changer for me. Humbling.
It is difficult for me to write about it or even think about it yet.
I knew Suz was dying. I don't know exactly why, but I knew.
It is going to take me a while to process her death, but in the meantime, I know for an absolute fact that Sue wants me to be happy, enjoy life and carry on and all that.
And I am and I will.
But I will take the time to grieve when those waves wash over me. You might have to read about it here, but I know you will  understand.
Especially if you have lost someone you love.