Christmas 2011

Christmas this year was interesting, to say the least. Many blessings, for sure. Jack, Wayne, Sally and I went to 3:45 pm mass, then celebrated Christmas Eve at Jenny and Jay's.As always, Abbie and Nina brought much joy to the occasion. It was very strange not to have Marmar there. Jenny had a karaoke mic set up for the girls to play with, but the adults had just as much fun with it. I will try and post some short videos.

On Christmas morning, we did our usual breakfast at Bucky and Grandma's with Paul and Downtown Sue. We opened presents and talked about Mike and Marmar and worked on processing the losses. The menfolk did their traditional "Shortenin' Bread" song while cooking the sausages. After breakfast, we went back home to regroup and get the food ready for dinner and arrived back at Bucky and Grandma's at 5:30.  Sue, Lauren and Brendan had already arrived and it was great to be together. I often take family pictures in the living room after dinner, but we changed that up a bit. Too soon to have those yearly pictures without Mike in them.
Here is one of my favorite pictures from Christmas. It is Lauren and Brendan looking at the nativity set, part of which Mike made out of toothpicks when he was little.

 I will post more pictures from Christmas once we finish getting Marmar's memorial service planned.

Marmar was Home for Christmas

I still cannot believe it. Marmar died last Wednesday night, December 21st around 7:15 pm. Seriously. Cannot believe it.
Marmar had not been feeling well the few days before she died. One of her last voice messages to us was on Friday, December 16th, the evening of Mike's funeral. She was very disappointed to not be able to go to Mike's wake or funeral; Mom could very much identify with Marie and Bill (Jack's folks) and wanted to express that to them in person. I went out for my usual Sunday visit (December 18th) and Marmar was feeling blue. She was bumming over the fact that she had not yet done anything for Christmas. We made a list of things that she wanted to have done and I assured her that Jenny would come out on Thursday and help her knock some of those things off the list. On Monday and Tuesday, Marmar kept saying that she felt like she had the flu. Late Wednesday morning, while I was at work, Jenny and I both received texts from Sue (who was also at work) saying that Mom was dehydrated. Rose (Marmar's caregiver who was with her from 8-noon weekdays) was pushing  gatorade and water; if that didn't work, Sue said we would probably need to get Marmar to the hospital for IV fluids. Jenny and I both said we would come out that afternoon. I went out there straight from work, arriving around 4. Marmar was in bed, which was a red flag that something was wrong. The second red flag was that she did not want her daily 7 and 7. I said to her, "Ok, Mom, now you've got me worried!".:) She just wanted to sleep (who doesn't when you have the flu?). I muted the TV and turned out the lights and went downstairs. Jenny arrived a few minutes later. We went through the mail and pulled out the newly arrived Christmas cards. We headed upstairs to check on Marmar. She was awake, so happy to see Jenny and wanted to read the cards. We read them together, got her some ice chips and then helped her to the bathroom. It became clear that it was more than the flu. Sue came home from work in the middle of it all...thank God, because clearly, I am not a nurse (that became crystal clear). We got Mom back in bed and that's when things began to change. Marmar's breathing changed, her eyes looked different. I was laying on the bed next to her, Jenny was kneeling by the bed, we were both holding her hands. Mom looked past me at something. She let go of my hand and reached up as if she were going to go take someone else's hand. Jenny asked me to go get Sue, who was starting a load of laundry.  One look at Mom and Sue knew that Mom was dying. It was surreal. I was just there to help get her some fluids! What the heck? We prayed with her...the Lord's Prayer/Our Father, Hail Mary (that prayer has been working overtime lately). About ten minutes later, Mom came back! She wanted to know what time it was, she wanted us to go home so we wouldn't be driving in the dark, she worried that we were too tired (Mom was a certified worry expert). We asked her if she had seen  Pawp, Tom, Dane and Marcia and she said yes...who knows, we may have been putting words in her mouth. Marmar said she did NOT want to go to the hospital. She was uncomfortable, but not in great pain. She wanted an ice pack for her back and asked me to rub her back for her. Sue noticed that her feet were dirty and brought a towel and soap and water and very tenderly washed them. How biblical was that. Oh my gosh. Mom wanted to sleep some more. Jenny, Sue and I went down to the kitchen and made some plans. We put a call in to her doctor, who was not on call. The answering service said that the doctor on call would call us back. As we waited for the call (that never came btw), we discussed options. Sue's expert opinion was that we should ask for hospice services. We were avoiding the hospital, per Marmar's request. I went back upstairs to check on Marmar and she was awake. She said she wanted to go to the bathroom and I asked her to wait til I got Sue and Jenny to help, because she was so weak. Marmar said she was fine to walk on her own, but she waited for the three of us. As we were helping her, Sue, with her great sense of humor, was saying something about us being crazy girls. Mom looked at us and said "but very lovable". And those were her last words. As we helped her back into bed, she went limp and then a few moments later, took her last breath. WHAT????? I really could not believe it. I could not wrap my brain around the fact that this was really happening and also thatGod would be so good and loving and kind that He would allow all three of us to be there with Mom at her moment of death. It has not been often in the last several months that Sue, Jenny and I were all there at the same time (think tag team). How awesome is our God that He gave all of us that gift??? Sue, Jenny, me and most importantly, Marmar.
The last few days have been all about processing two deaths in the span of 9 days. And celebrating the birth of Jesus. God is good. And Marmar was home for Christmas, in the truest sense of the word.

Mike's Send Off

Friday, December 16th, was a beautiful day for Mike's send off. It was a sunny day with mild temperatures. The whole day ran smoothly.
We met at the funeral home for a short prayer service.We then loaded in the cars for the trip to the church, which was less than a mile down the road. The church was filled with folks waiting to celebrate Mike's life. The funeral was beautiful, spiritual and comforting. Loved the music (including some Christmas carols- Silent Night and Hark the Herald Angels Sing), loved the readings, loved the homily...I found comfort in every part of the mass. And I LOVED the priest, Father Gavin. He was outstanding. He met the spiritual needs of Mike and our family, from start to finish. In the process, he spread the Good News to so many other people by his welcoming and faith-filled presence. Brendan did a reading from Ecclesiastes and Lauren did a reading from a Carmelite priest and they both did amazing jobs. So proud of them. Jack did the eulogy, per Sue's request. I was so proud of my husband. He captured the essence of Mike in a very authentic way. I posted the eulogy in a link on the right side of the home page...just click on Mike's Eulogy if you want to read it.
We left the church and drove very scenic back roads to Holy Sepulchre Cemetery. There was a brief ceremony there and then we left for a luncheon at Ridge Country Club. There were many toasts to Mike and it was comforting to be there together. Seven of Mike's fraternity brothers came in town for the funeral and were there at the luncheon. It was fun to meet them, and attach names to faces...or should I say nicknames to faces. Here are grown men being introduced as Weed, the Professor, the Walrus, etc. Troll (Mike) would have loved it! Brendan's fraternity brothers were there as well. At one point I said to Sue, "This would be such a great photo opportunity. Too bad it's not appropriate." She replied, "Too bad you don't have your camera". Of course I had my point and shoot in the car, so I ran out to get it. Got some good shots of some of Mike's favorite people which I will post at some point. We invited ourselves back to Mike and Sue's house (for that is what I will continue to call it) and spent more time celebrating Mike. Again, there was great comfort in being around people who were also dealing with the loss of Mike.
It is still very surreal to think that Mike is gone from this earth. A week after his death, I think the reality is starting to set in.The loss of Mike leaves a big hole in so many people's lives. Gotta figure out how not to fall in it. We are praying hard not only for Sue, Lauren and Brendan, who lost a husband and father, but also Bucky and Grandma who lost a son. I can't imagine losing a child, no matter when.
God bless us, every one.

Mike

Mike died Monday night. On Monday morning, we woke up and Jack said to me, "Mike is going to die this week". I knew what he meant. Most people are just waking up on a Monday morning, making their mental lists of all of the things they need to do. How utterly unreal what Mike's agenda for the week was.Jack went over to Mike and Sue's in the afternoon and texted me around dinnertime that he was going to stay there for dinner. A few hours later,  I was writing a report on Easy IEP and I got a text that it was going to be soon. At 9:25, Jack called to say that Mike had just died. Sally and I threw on our coats and headed out. Our hearts broke for Sue, Lauren and Brendan. So much for them to go through. And Sally and I were also so sad for Jack. Over the past two weeks, it has been a privilege to witness Jack's love for his brother and it was especially poignant on Monday night. After we gathered around Mike and said our Hail Marys, Jack so tenderly pulled up Mike's blanket, tucked him in and patted his hand. I will never forget the way Jack looked at Mike and the way he took every opportunity he could to go back into the family room to sit by his brother. He just wanted to be with him. So beautiful. We had some awesome discussions on Monday night and again last night. Sue, Lauren and Brendan are so amazing. Lots of tears but just as many sweet laughs. Just what Mike would want.

Waiting

Here we are in the Advent season, a time of anticipation. We look forward to Christmas and celebrating the birth of Jesus. In our family, we have another sense of anticipation right now. We are anticipating the death of Jack's brother, Mike. Heavy and very deep. Mike was hospitalized the day after Thanksgiving and came home with hospice six days later. Things have changed quite a bit since a week ago tonight when Mike was sitting on the office chair in his family room and he was sharing stories about the old days at Rollins College (some which I had never heard before...really good ones!) As of tonight, Mike is in and out, but still Mike. I greeted him with our traditional "UNcle Mike!" (accent on the un) and he opened his eyes and said. "Aunt Patty!". It is not clear how soon it will be, but it is clear that Mike is....dying. I kept trying to think of another word to use, but that is what it is. Mike is dying. Why don't I want to use that word? That is what we are all born to do. It's his turn now, but we will each get our turn at some point. People HATE it when I say that, but it is true. And not a bad thing. Just gotta be ready for it. And I truly believe that Mike is. And as we wait for Mike to make that transition, I am reminded how similar it is to wait for a death as it is to wait for a birth. You never know when it will happen...you try to make plans and every day seems like a month and then the physical changes begin (e.g., the water breaks and labor begins/breathing becomes slower and more shallow) and it may take 48 hours or it may take 30 minutes and it is scary and it is momentous and it is full of unknowns, and then....it happens and nothing is ever the same but a new life begins. And it is beautiful.
God is good.

the quintessential Uncle Mike picture

Thanksgiving

As always, I had much to be thankful for on Thanksgiving. I was thankful that the weather was beautiful all week, so mild and not a complicating factor. I was thankful that the sewers did not back up three hours before everyone was scheduled to come (yes, that did happen in the last few years!) I was thankful for the opportunity to have our families here with us. We love our families and we don't take for granted that we were all able to gather together again this year. We had everyone on both sides represented here at our house at one point or another over the course of the day and that is truly a blessing. I really have been slipping with my picture taking and did not get good shots of everyone, but here are some pictures from the day.

Susie and the kids...Sally is almost in the picture

A kiss for Marmar

Brendan, Sue, Mike and Lauren

the six originals

one of our tables..didn't get a shot of the other one!

Downtown Sue, Marie and me

the entertainers, Abbie and Nina

Caylen and Joe Get Hitched!

Last Saturday, November 12, was Caylen and Joe's wedding day. It was the most gorgeous day, in every way, from start to finish. The weather was perfect, sunny and about 50 degrees, with a bit of wind. The fall colors were out in full force which was a beautiful backdrop to the day.

The ceremony was at 1 pm at St. Clement's, which is Caylen and Joe's new parish (they bought a condo nearby) and also the church where Caylen was baptized. The church was packed and full of love. Christy rode down with Jack and me and we made sure to get there early so as not to miss a minute of it. Wayne and Julie met us there. Sally and Matt were not able to come to the ceremony because Sally's swim team was competing at sectionals.The ceremony was amazing.  After the bridal party made its entrance, the doors at the back of the church were closed. I turned back to look and caught a glimpse of Chuck and Caylen through the windows in the closed doors. All that was visible was from the shoulders up and it was like something out of a movie...the beautiful music playing, Chuck and Caylen with their heads close together in a quiet moment and then the doors opened and there they were, father and daughter arm in arm. So tender. More touching than I even imagined it would be.

So beautiful

Keegan, Teri and Chas

Brittany and Grace with the best man, Dominick

After the ceremony, we chatted it up with the other wedding goers. It struck me how fortunate we are to know so many wonderful, caring people. Everyone was in such a good mood and we agreed it was so wonderful to be celebrating such a happy event.

Jack with Rob and Lisa

The reception did not start until 6 pm, so Jack, Christy, Wayne, Julie and  I went to the Union League Club to get a bite of lunch. We ran into Rob and Lisa in the restaurant and they joined us at our table. I really enjoyed the conversation. My enjoyment of the conversation was enhanced by the fact that Sally taught Rob and Lisa's daughter last year and they had so many wonderful things to say about Sally. Loved it. Sally and Matt met up with us at the Club. The men walked over to the reception which was at the University Club and the girls cabbed it over (too hard to walk in the heels!). Everything at the reception was over the top incredible! We had such fun and danced like crazy. Teri said a beautiful grace and Chuck did a touching toast, as did the maids of honor, Brittany and Grace. Also, Chas made a very cool video that included interviews with the grandparents and parents of the bride and groom. It was a take off on "When Harry Met Sally" and so interesting to hear the advice and memories of those folks. That is something Caylen and Joe will treasure forever, along with memories of their wedding day.

Teri's mom and nephew, Garrett..dancing machines

Matt, Sally, Julie and Wayne

receiving line...that is Joe on the left

Caylen and Wayne, friends since birth

me and my honey..love the glasses they passed out to everyone!

walking back to the Club at 2 am

Wedding Bells!

The day after tomorrow, Caylen Faith is getting married. We are all so excited for the big event and we are especially pleased that Caylen has found the man of her dreams in Joe. Great guy. Such a darling couple.

I remember well the first day Jack and I met Caylen. It was March 9, 1985. I only know that because I wrote the date on the back of this polaroid picture. Wayne was exactly one month old and Caylen was about two weeks old. It was the start of a beautiful friendship for our families.How could it be that 26 years have gone by so quickly?
I can't wait to see Chuck walk Caylen down the aisle on Saturday.

the proud dads with their babies

Halloween 2011

Karen, Eliot and the Flopsters

It was kind of a bummer, having Halloween on a Monday. It was low key at school. I only had two students in the afternoon class and that made our activities go really quickly. As in, ok, we are done with those fun learning games...We supplemented by downloading  Berenstain Bears Go On a Ghostwalk on the iPad and that was a big hit. After school, I called Teri and we continued our Halloween tradition...sorta. Jack and I went over to her house and helped pass out trick or treat candy and visited. I think it was even more sappy of a Halloween because Caylen is getting married next week and we are reminded of how fast the days and years go. But we still had an awesome time and it was made brighter when Brittany stopped in at home to say hi. We missed Chuck, but then he almost always has to work on Halloween. After we left Teri, we stopped in at Cathy and Mark's, another wonderful tradition. We just missed Jeff, Andi and Mason (son, daughter-in-law and grandson of Mark and Cathy). We caught up for a while and had a few trick or treaters, including Eliot, Max and Ben (brothers of JD, from the wedding two weeks ago...check out that post). They were out with Karen, Max and Ben's mom.

fun with Britt

another Halloween together

passing out the candy

me, Mark and Cath

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

JD's wedding

Saturday, October 22nd was the wedding date for our buddy, JD and his bride, Quillen. JD and Wayne have been friends since first grade and Wayne was asked to be a groomsman in the wedding. JD is special to our family for many reasons, not the least of which is he is a Marine who served a tour of duty in Afghanistan. In addition, I will never, ever forget that Jordan, JD's dad, flew JD home from college when Dane died so that JD could be with Wayne and attend Dane's services. That meant so much to us all.
JD and Quillen met at Denison University in Granville, OH and so that was where they had the wedding. They were married in the church where JD became Catholic. Jack was super disappointed that he could not attend the wedding; he had a speaking engagement booked in Arizona on the morning of October 23rd and there was no way to do both. We missed him, but carried on. Boy did we carry on.

Here are a few pictures from the day. And this whole post started out with a video of  Wayne, the dancing machine; not because it's the most important part of the day...only because that's how it loaded on the blog and I can't seem to change that!

so thrilled to be celebrating with JD and Quillen

coming out of the church

me and my boy on a beautiful fall afternoon

me and my speechie, Kristin, in our traditional pic

 proud father and all of his kids

Matt, Scott and JD...thank you for your service!

Marmar's Apple Crisp

Here is an awesome fall recipe. My mom first made this apple crisp recipe in her home economics class when she was in 8th grade. That was about 75 years ago. The smell of it cooking brings back great childhood memories. My sisters and I were talking about it yesterday and that made me crave it, so I made a batch last night. Jack took a picture of it and posted it on facebook. I will try and get that picture to post on here.

Apple Crisp
4 cups of sliced apples
1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 cup of water
1/2 tsp salt
Mix these together in a bowl, then put in a 9x9 greased pan
Topping: 3/4 cup flour, 1 cup sugar, 1/3 cup butter; mix these together well so that you have a crumbly mixture. I use a fork. Sprinkle over the top of the apples and bake for 40 minutes at 350.
Serve warm with ice cream or fresh whipping cream.
Easy and delicious!

Sunday Morning Walk

It's a drizzly Sunday morning. Perfect fall weather for a walk with my honey. Jack and I walked to town and stopped at Starbucks for a cup of coffee. We sat in the shop, watched the trains go by and visited. We went to mass last night, so we have the rest of Sunday to get things done.
It was such a pleasant start to the day.

Chicago Marathon

This past Sunday was the Chicago marathon and what a beautiful (but hot for the marathoners!) day for it. Wayne invited Jack and me to come down to cheer on Julie during her first marathon. We were also happy to be able to cheer on Team Larry Boy. Mark and his son, Chris, and daughters-in-law, Kristin and Andi were all running to raise money for one of Mark's coworkers who is dealing with ALS. Wayne's new apartment was right between the four mile marker and the eleven mile marker (the course looped back around).  It was the perfect set up for us as supporters. Grabbing our cups of coffee (or whatever), we were able to walk out of Wayne's apartment, turn right, walk about 25 yards and watch the runners at the 4 mile mark, then go back into the apartment, get another cup of coffee, walk out of the apartment and turn to the left, walk 25 yards that way and watch the runners at the 11 mile mark.

the traffic light is the 4 mile marker. 7:15 am

the 11 mile area, at 7:15 am

Jack, Wayne and I went out to the 4 mile mark around 7:45 to wait for the elite runners. Also with us were Jocelyn (Julie's BFF who came from Ohio/Annapolis to support her), Tej (Wayne's roommate), and Adam (Mark's son and Kristin's husband). First the wheelchair participants went by, then the vehicles with the timers and TV cameras, then came the first runners. What a thrill it was to see the lead pack approaching. Amazing to see world class athletes doing their thing, up close and personal. I had goose bumps as those lean, fast running machines men flew by. At that time, there weren't many spectators out and it was a bit surreal. Check this out:

Jocelyn, Wayne, Jack and Tej are in the background

4 mile mark, around 8:30, getting more crowded

 Julie's parents, Gordon and Marie, came in from Cleveland to support Julie in the race and came into the city with Julie's sister and brother-in-law, Sarah and Tim. They were able to see Julie at the 4 mile mark; unfortunately, I missed her! Bummer. We went back to Wayne's place and regrouped and waited for our runners to get to the 11 mile mark. I did not miss Julie this time!

there's Julie! in the orange

Julie made a few adjustments and visited with her fans, then took off to finish the race. Wayne met her at mile 18 and ran with her til mile 23. Jocelyn was also a huge support to Julie and videotaped Julie crossing the finish line. Julie was disappointed to find out that her chip did not work and so she does not show up on the official list of finish times, but we all know that she did a fantastic job.

all of these people were there to support Julie! seriously

Over the course of the day, we also got to cheer for Mark and Kristin. Here they are

Adam is pointing us out to Mark, who is signing "I love you"

my speechie friend, Kristin

super fans, Wayne and Jocelyn

 I never knew it could be so fun to watch the marathon!

Trivia Night

Last night, Jack and I met up with Kjell, Arne, Beth and Jenny to compete in a trivia contest at a restaurant in Kjell's neighborhood. It was so much fun! In the old days, we used to love to play the trivia games at places like TGIFridays when we would have our family vacations in Dallas with Tom and Ann. Back then, those games were more electronic, surprisingly enough. This trivia contest was live, with pencil and paper and answers couriered to the host. We ended up getting second place out of twenty teams. We missed first place by two points. Had Arne not been there, we would have been sunk. Arne is a music savant (meaning he is crazy smart about music). Seriously, he can hear two notes of a song and come up with the name of the song and the artist. At halftime during this trivia night, they play 10 songs, each for less than 30 seconds, and we had to come up with the title and artist. We would receive one point for the correct song title, one point for the correct artist and if we got both correct, we got a bonus point. Well, we got them all and that put us in first place after the first half of the game. At the bottom, I am going to post a video of Arne doing his thing.
 An example of a question during the regular portion of the game: Which Yankee holds the record of the best batting average (.393)? Lou Gehrig, Babe Ruth or Joe DiMaggio? No cheating.

Jack is thinking

Beth and I  wore our scarves. Shouldn't that be enough?

Arne and Jenny wait for the results

our team captain and courier, Kjell

Here is Arne, being a music savant

Hillsdale County Fair 2011

On Saturday, October 1st, Jack attended his 39th consecutive Hillsdale County Fair. It was my 28th, though not consecutive, Fair. Wayne and Sally could not go this year. Wayne was cheering at Homecoming at Illinois and Sally had a swim meet to coach. They missed all the fun.
We left late Friday afternoon, right after work. We were on the road for about 30 minutes when the low tire pressure warning light went on. Jack decided to stop at an oasis to check it out. Good thing we did because the back right tire was almost flat. Jack put some air in it and I went into the gas station to ask if they provided any tire repair services. Of course not. However, they suggested we drive to the next exit where we could find an NTB or something similar. Luckily, we made it there and found a Firestone that was open and could help us. They said it would take an hour or so to get to our car. Having no other choice, we decided to wait and got ourselves comfortable in the waiting area. About half way into our wait, a huge hail storm blew in and it was horrible for about twenty minutes. Jack and I were reminded how God protects us. We were fortunate to have had that warning light and to have heeded it. Otherwise we probably would have had a blow out and it might have been in the midst of a bad storm. As it turned out, there was something wrong with the valve on the tire and it only cost $28 to fix. Soon enough we were on our way.
We went straight to our very favorite restaurant, Schuler's. We arrived about an hour before they closed and pretty much had the place to ourselves. The meal did not disappoint. Mmmmmm, love those meatballs and barcheeze and peppermint ribbon pie.

a little glass of Chandon to celebrate Fair weekend

The next morning, we checked out of the Hampton Inn by 11 and headed to the Fair. We had to meet up with a guy named Brian Watkins. Brian is producing a documentary about the Fair and interviewed Jack last year. Brian  decided he needed more footage and contacted Jack to see if he could follow Jack around the Fair and interview both of us this year. Of course we said yes!

Brian puts a wireless mic on Jack

Brian shared with us the sad news that there was no photo button booth at the Fair this year. First time in at least 39 years!!!! We were mature about it. Brian took a picture of us and we are going to have our own photo button made (he gave us a great place to do it...mpix.com). Brian was THE nicest guy. He is earnest and passionate about Hillsdale and filmmaking. There is a link to a site that has info about the documentary :here it is

imagine this on metal with a pin on the back

We did our usual things...corn dog, Fiske fries (the best!) and elephant ear. We played the water gun game, Jack did the Funhouse. We went to the birthing tent and saw newborn pygmy goats, then headed over to the Barnyard Babies tent. There were twin foals that were born several months ago. Did you know that twin foal births are highly unusual and pretty much never successful? The family whose mare had the twins had an informative display with all the details. They had no idea there were two babies in there!

checking out antique farm equipment

After we left the Fair, we stopped in at the college. We found our brick and sat in the deluxe student center and used their lightning fast wireless.

Jack with our brick and Central Hall in the background

Jack in front of Koon Hall, the dorm where he was an RA

We closed out the day with a return trip to Schuler's. Nothing better than a double Schuler's Fair weekend!